Set Phasers

Mariner's feeling a bit sour because she and the lower decks gang go left out in space for six hours when the Cerritos has to warp away to help another ship in trouble. Also, a Starfleet drill instructor is showing up to run the entire crew through performance reviews and Captain Freeman wants everybody to be at their best. When the drills involve the lower decks folks assuming senior staff positions (and the senior staff being lower decks), the event become a chance for Mariner et al to show just how well they would do if they were charge.
 
Nothing goes wrong, of course.
 
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First, there's this evil supercomputer that caused a hundred years of war on a nameless planet. Boimler and Mariner are tasked with bringing it to the Daystrom Institute to be put on ice, but when they get stranded on a deserted planet. AGIMUS, the aforementioned, does his best to put them at each other's throats
 
Meanwhile, Chief Billups is apparently descended from royalty. and, also, is a virgin. And *if* he ever has sex, he'll automatically become king of the Hysperions. Good thing his mother, the Queen, is visiting the Cerritos and begging Andy for help fixing her "dragonsbreath" engines.
 
Captain Freeman and Ransom try some "alien street food" and regret the decision. Really. 
 
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There is, indeed, a spy humongous on the USS Cerritos. Capt. Freeman and Shaxs have gone down to the Pakled planet (which they called "Pakled Planet") to try and negotiate a peace. But then a "prisoner" from the planet "escapes" to the Cerritos and asks for "asylum" – and also schematics for the ships defensive capabilities.
Meanwhile, Mariner, Tendi, and Rutherford are on Anomaly Consolidation Duty. Basically, they are collecting dangerous science trash that senior staff has collected on away missions. The results are... messy.
 
Also meanwhile, Rutherford gets recruited into "The Red Shirts," and club of enterprising young officers who see to help each other get promoted through the ranks. If it seems like a cult, or just a bad idea, it is.
 
So, you know, the usual.
 
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The Cerritos is headed to Starbase 25 for the annual Command Conference (which is purported to have one of the most outrageous after-parties in the quadrant!) and it will be the only California-class ship attending. Captain Freeman is rather chuffed. 
 
There's just the problem of the Doopler Ambassador who gets to "dooplercating" himself when he gets insulted and results in the ship having to be locked down until he can stop multiplying.
 
Mariner and Boimler take advantage of the chaos to sneak aboard the station and attend the party on their own. Things go promptly south when they run into one of Mariner's old "associates."
 
Meanwhile, Tendi and Rutherford just want to complete their Cerritos miniature model. Well, Rutherford *really* wants to complete it – but all those dang Dooplers are getting in the way!

So there's this big scary mugato creature on on Frylong IV, precisely where it shouldn't be. Cerritos is dispatched to get to the bottom of it. So what if they're poisonous, carnivorous, and incredibly strong? Shaxs leads the away mission and turns out there are Ferengi (like old school electro-whip Ferengi!) behind it. Chaos promptly ensues.
 
Meanwhile, Boimler and Rutherford have heard a rumor that Mariner is a Black Ops agent from Section 31 and during the fighting they watch her stab Shaxs. Surely, they will be next, those silly-billies!
 
Finally, Tendi is tasked by Dr' T'ana with scanning all the personnel who have been avoiding their check-up. It's all going well until the very last scan-dodger proves to be rather catty about it.
 
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Lieutenant Paris is visiting the Cerritos! You know, Janeway’s hand-selected, to-be-redeemed, ace pilot. He’s visiting!Also, Tendi is sent on a mission by Dr. T’Ana and decides to bring Mariner along for a “Girl’s Trip.” Hijinks ensue. Rutherford wants to know how Shax is back from the dead but knows it is a taboo to ask; Boimler is stuck in the bowels of the ship the whole time.
 
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Season two of Lower Decks rapidly picks up speed. First we meet the new head of security (a Tanarian named Kayson) and then we see Boimler hard at work trying to fit in with the pugilistic types on his new ship.
Lt. Kayshon leads the Cerritos gang (along with Jet, who has been transferred) on to a deceased collector's ship, a security protocol is engaged, he gets turned into a doll and the team must fight their way off the ship. Meanwhile, on the Titan, Boimler is part of an undercover squad infiltrating a mining camp to find out about the nefarious intentions of some Pakleds. Things... don't go super well.
 
And Captain Freeman gets her command performance review. Apparently... she's a bit of a micro-manager.
 
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It's strange energy indeed, as we return to life aboard the Cerritos with Ensign Mariner and her mother Captain Freeman. Things are going great – and they both secretly hate it! You would think they could talk about it, but it seems like they can't. It takes Ransom heading down to a planet and getting blasted with "strange energies" and become a young, narcissistic godling for them to admit it to each other. 
 
Also, Tendi thinks Rutherford's cybernetic implants are malfunctioning and will stop at nothing to fix him! A new season of hijinks and shenanigans is in the offing. Huzzah!
 
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Star Trek: Nemesis. The final TNG-movie watch-along! Released in 2002, the last of the four TNG movies is an uncharacteristically dark affair. It has very little of light-hearted hijinks of the previous three and ends *pretty* sadly. That said, it starts with the wedding of Troi and Riker; Data has been promoted to new first officer; everything is peachy-keen.
 
Then the Romulan senate is attacked by a poison bomb or something, killing everyone present and we learned of the sister planet to Romulus–namely, duh, Remus. Apparently there is some enmity there?  
 
Enterprise is dispatched to figure out what is going on and how to bring peace back. That still seems well in hand. But then he learns that the leader of the Reman forces is a young clone of himself (Tom Hardy). Thus begins a psychological game of cat and mouse (or cat and cat) with just the future of the entire planet of Earth hanging in the balance. 
 
Be sure to have tissues at the ready.

Another Watch-Along! This time, well, we decided to do all the TNG movies and we will not be thwarted! Even if this one is somewhat hard to watch it is still full of the wonder and joy and space (and unasked for group singing) that are the hallmarks of a rollicking Star Trek film. There is the obligatory crooked admiral, Data malfunctioning and beating a bunch of people up, a scenery chewing bad guy, *and* a love interest for Jean-Luc. 
Once again in Frakes’ steady hands, we set sail to the stars with the crew of the Enterprise on a (sorta kinda) cool adventure!

Strap in as we watch through 1996’s Star Trek: First Contact directed by none other than TNG’s own Jonathan Frakes. It’s got everything you could want — space fights, ship fights, the Borg, time travel. And poor Captain Picard must battle not only the Borg but also his own internal demons. Thankfully, he gets help from a very drunk James Cromwell. 
Also, Data gets real skin for a while (it’s creepy).

Are you ready for a watch along?! Your intrepid hosts, Akie & Stevie, get together to watch the all the TNG movies adding our own... uh... incisive commentary. 
 
First up is 1994's Generations – replete with cameos by Scotty, Chekov, and James T. Kirk himself. There is funky time stuff (of course), as well as obligatory big-budget film exploding things. A fight on a cat-walk on top of a mountain? Sure! And, the kicker, Picard and Kirk teaming up to take down the black-clad, british-accented, megalomaniacal bad guy. 
 
Through it all, we'll keep interrupting to talk. Sync up the movie and watch along with us!

Season Finale?!?!  ALREADY?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... ok. So, Boimler let's slip that Mariner is the daughter of Captain Freeman. Everyone starts coming to Mariner to curry favor and so she considered applying for a promotion to the USS Sacramento – the same one Boimler is gunning for. That would be drama enough, but then a group of extremely advanced Pakled's destroys a federation ship and takes a crack at the Cerritos. With the ship disabled, the captain injured, and imminent destruction hanging over their heads – Mariner, Boimler, Rutherford, and Tendi each have a part to play in getting out of a deadly situation.
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Mariner and Captain Freeman's constant arguing comes to a head but instead of throwing Mariner in the brig for subordination, Freeman makes her take mandatory therapy. Mariner thinks it's worthless, but decides she can *really* work through some stuff when Boimler reveals a holodeck program with complete personality work ups for the whole crew.
 
Only... Mariner may not realize quite how much work she needs to do on herself before it's too late...

Mariner, Tendi, Rutherford and Boimler are thrown in a jail cell and then brought before a tribunal to testify as to the actions of senior crew on a particular stardate in question. Mariner remembers nothing important, Boimler remember nothing other than his embarrassment, Tendi remembers waaaay too much, and Rutherford's implant was jacked up so he remembers... some strange things.
 
But why was the ship in the Neutral Zone and what was the package they were sent to pick up and WHO IS "THE CLEANER"?!!
 
The answer to these questions may surprise you, but not nearly as much as it does our hapless lower decks crew. Can they save their senior staff (and themselves) from a grisly death in the Tank of Contempt (which is replete with eels AND fire)?!?!?
 
Another surprise, I guess.
 
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Captain Freeman, Ransom, and Shaxs are called away on an urgent, covert, seed-planting mission, so there will be a visiting captain on board the Cerritos. At first, Mariner is upset by this, but then she discovers it is her old friend from the academy, Amina Ramsey. Ramsey selects Mariner to be her first officer and help her not be just a "babysitter" for the crew, but Mariner is having a hard time not screwing up everything she does for some reason...
 
Also, Brad Boimler gets kicked out of phase by a transporter experiment and is sent to "The Farm" on a Division 14 ship – where all the victims of recent Star Fleet accidents reside. He tries to stave off a mutiny. 
 
Tendi creates a dog that is horrifying. Meanwhile, Stevie can't find her sound effects and Akie's Easter Eggs theme keeps changing...
 
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This week the Cerritos is locked in a pitched and literal tug-o-war with a ship of Drookmani over some ancient Starfleet wreckage and Captain Freeman is doing her best to resolve the issue without violence. In response, the Drookmani start throwing debris at the Cerritos with their tractor beams to provoke a fight.
 
Meanwhile, on the lower decks, Mariner and Boimler have to work together to fight a semi-sentient isolinear coil that their crewmate broke and tried to hide and that is weakening the shields. it's eating every bit of technology in sight. Oh, also, Rutherford and Tendi are stuck on the holodeck when the ships systems malfunction with a fully sentient and wholly murderous hologram named Badgey.
 
So. A regular day, I guess.
 
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Brad Boimler has a girlfriend! Her name is Barbara Brinson. Try saying that fast. Akie does a bunch this episode and it pretty much broke him. Mariner thinks Brinson is too good to be true and is on a mission to prove that she is some sort of man-eating alien. Meanwhile, Rutherford and Tendi are exploring the bowels of the Vancouver doing diagnostics in a competition to win a new T88 tricorder... but the contest is rigged because someone's grandma was the Admiral's neighborhood?
 
Oh, also, a moon is supposed to be destroyed but the denizens of Mixtus II & III can't seem to agree on whether the moon should be destroyed and time is running out.
But in the end, this is an episode about love.... AWWWW
 
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The Cerritos is hauling an ancient generation ship across space with the USS Merced. The ship has some kind of super biology juice inside of it that turns anything it touches into trees and rocks and water. So, careful, everyone!
 
Meanwhile, Captain Freeman is sick of Mariner's disrespect and immaturity and wants her off the ship. She hatches a plan to make life unbearable for her daughter in the hopes it will drive Mariner to ask for a transfer (it doesn't). Tendi accidentally ruins a shipmates attempt to ascend to a state of pure energistic being and tries to make it up to him by relentlessly trying to help him re-achieve inner peace. 
 
Oh, and the captain of the Merced is NOT careful; and the generation ship springs a leak; and the bio-juice travels up the tractor beams and threatens to turn both ships in to, well, trees and rocks and water. Boimler cleans the conference room.

What do you know about "buffer time?" You know, like, the crew of ship says it takes four hours to fix the dilithium mix, but it really on takes two hours? I mean, we *all* kind of know that, right?! 
Captain Freeman didn't and when she cracks down on buffer time everything goes all to hell. Morale drops and things stop working. And then, also, the ship is attacked and boarded.  Meanwhile, Mariner and Commander Ransom are in prison on the surface fighting over who gets to fight to the death in order prove the Federation's innocence on Galrack V. 
    
And to think – this all could have been avoided if the Cerritos had just gone to Cardassia Prime...
 
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Ensign Boimler is SUPER excited to be shuttling a Klingon ambassador down to the surface but Mariner crashes the party. She and General K'orin drink too much bloodwine and the ambassador passes out... then he steals the shuttle and goes joy-riding around the Klingon district wreaking havoc. 
 
As they pursue K'orin, Mariner proves herself quite the Starfleet officer, constantly getting poor Brad Boimler out of dangerous trouble – except when she almost gets them kidnapped by a Ferengi?!
 
Meanwhile, Rutherford is trying out all the different color uniforms on the Cerritos. With spectacular results. #Smourgasborg

Welcome aboard the USS Cerritos (small hills?!), listeners! Meet ensigns Boimler (nervous goody-two-shoes), Mariner (bad-ass rebel and rule-breaker), Tendi (hyper enthusiastic science officer), and Rutherford (innocent, newly-cybernetic engineer) – our plucky heroes. Don't worry about the command staff on the bridge, we're plumbing the depths of this starship – where the real action is! Namely, picking up after the higher-ups and trying to not to die. 
 
In this pilot episode, the crew of the ship is infected with some sort of rage virus causing them to try to kill and eat each other; Tendi holds a man's heart on her first day working in sickbay, Rutherford has a date with a trill, and Boimler and Mariner fight a giant (and, as it turns out, non-carniverous) spider during a "second contact" mission. It's good clean fun.
 
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The stage is set, the players are ready, and the Romulans are about to show up and destroy EVERYTHING. So much happens in this season one finale of Picard that it is hard to even summarize it. There's tears and laughter, dogfights in space, the hatching of plans, the dashing of hopes. Soji builds an antennae, Jurati shows some serious backbone, Rios and Raffi make bets, Seven settles a score, and Elnor – sweet Elnor – he weeps when it is appropriate.  Picard, well. He confronts the "ego" that is "en Arcadia" and he does not look away. Also, Data!
 
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The crew of La Sirena arrives in orbit at Soji home planet; they fight Narek; Seven of Nine shows up with a borg cube. Then giant orchids fly up from the planet's surface and knock all three ships out of space. Once there, the race is on. The Romulan fleet is still on its way to eradicate the synths!  Picard et al find Soji's people and, at first ,it does seem like an idyllic little paradise. There are synthetic lifeforms like Soji, and one of her creators (yet another Soong!) is there. But after one of the synths, Sutra, does a mind-meld with Dr. Jurati and sees "The Admonition" in a whole new light – well, things get complicated... and we get left holding a big, fat "to be continued."

Picard, S1, E8.  And they don’t call it “Broken Pieces” for nothing! EVERYBODY is broken in the episode. We learn the tortured, mind-breaking origins of the Zhat Vash (and why they are dead set on destroying all synthetic life) and we learn that Soji and Rios have met before – but they were different people then. Soji, literally, and Rios, figuratively. Speaking of Rios, we also *finally* gather all of his holographic versions in one room and find out what exactly has got him so existentially angsty. Jurati wakes from her coma and explains herself. And Raffi - dear, sweet Raffi – sees the matrix and identifies all the parts and puts it all together and knows what is coming next.
 
Also, Soji takes over the ship and steers the crew into the Borg trans-warp network and Seven shows up on the Artifact to kick ass and chew bubblegum… and she’s all out of bubblegum.
 
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It's Episode 7 of Picard. When last we left off, Picard and Soji basically stepped through a weird energy-window in a Borg Queen's bedroom suite and we headed to a planet called Nepenthe. What's on Nepenthe, you ask? Why, Will Riker and Deanna Troi, of course. And their daughter Kestra - and the memories of the deceased son, Thaddeus.
 
Troi scolds Picard into getting his head on straight, Riker makes pizza and listens to jazz. Soji confronts her memories and identity and human-ness... or lack thereof?! Friends are made, stories are told, plans are hatched! There is just enough delightful hugging.
 
Oh yeah. Meanwhile, Rios and Raffi are trying to out-run Narek and get to Picard in time to head on to Soji's homeworld and the secret behind everything. It's possible Dr. Jurati *knows* the secret behind everything, be she is also the traitor! so she eats cake, cries, vomits, and then puts herself in a coma.
 
Just another day about La Sirena, the fate of the galaxy in their hands!
 
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Things are really heating up on Picard. After the *mysterious* death of Bruce Maddox – the man who could have answered all the questions – Picard et al set a course for Soji and the Artifact, the only thing Bruce was able to tell them before he "died." 
Meanwhile, Soji and Narek are growing closer as Soji plumbs the depths of existentialism and Narek tries to steal her secrets. Raffi is drunk, Elnor is earnest, Jurati and Rios do the nasty after soccer practice, and Picard will once again set foot on a Borg cube. But will he get there in time to save Soji before she ends up quite dead? 
Gosh, we hope so, we want more episodes! 

Another Frakesian masterpiece. This time, big heist energy. Picard et al go to Freecloud, the negotiate with the black market there in order to track down Bruce Maddox. Raffi goes off on her own (mis)adventure for her own reasons. There’s outlandish disguises, plenty of phasers and plenty of tears. All in all, we just hope we’ll get the answers we so desperately want once we find the elusive Maddox. [Spoiler Alert: no traitors are revealed in the episode.]
 

Absolute Candor is more than just an episode title – it is a way of life! In this episode, Picard revisits some past mistakes, acquires a new crew member, and considers the effects of his actions. We’ll meet the Qowat Milat, and lost about hopeless causes. And the non-love/love-triangle of Narek, Soji, and Narrisa grows ever more strained and uncomfortable. It’s got Akie and Stevie all over it. And so: we are!
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Picard S1, E3: Three former Starfleet officers, all hounded by the ghosts of their former service, and an expert in artificial life forms walk in to a bar. Well, no, they walk into each other. And Picard tells them it is crucial they abscond from Earth and find Bruce Maddox to see how he created Dahj; Meanwhile Dahj’s sister, Asha, continues to work on a Borg cube in Romulan space and carry on a relationship with an undercover Starfleet... Tal Shiar... *something*… covert agent. 
It’s high stakes espionage, folks. Chateau Picard is attacked, Asha gets a mystic reading, and there are drugs. It’s a trip. 
Also: Hugh is back!!!
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Ok. So, Dahj is dead and she may have been Data’s daughter, somehow. But isn’t Data dead? How does he have a daughter now? Synthetics are banned by galactic treaty, so even if they both *were* alive, their existences would be illegal. Picard will investigate, but he can’t go to Star Fleet for aid – so he’ll need to assemble a crack squad of non-Star Fleet members. Fortunately he can, and no one tries to stop him either. I mean: he’s Picard!  Who would dare?!?!!
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...And we are BACK! With Picard S1 E1, no less. An ageing, sometimes proud, sometimes sad Jean-Luc struggles with dreams *and* waking life. Though difficult, it has become commonplace. And then a stranger walks into his garden and one last [?] adventure begins anew!
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Season 3 wrap up! What happened? Who’s captain? What’s the Burn? What’s The Chain? The Mirror Universe?!! Answers abound. Also, Akie and Steph’s favourite moments. A joyous celebration of Star Trek Discovery. And... some theories about Season 4, maybe? (Definitely)
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SEASON 3 FINALE!! No spoilers. You'll just have to listen ;)
AND..... we have a VERY special surprise for you after Quotable moments... DOUG JONES is in the house!!!!

Ok. No biggie. Osyraa stole the Discovery and is headed to Federation HQ; Book and Michael are in hot pursuit. Captain Tilly is in charge of the crew held hostage as Osyraa tries to get her way with the Fed. Stamets is being worked over by an evil [?] scientist! By the way, Saru, Culber, and Adira are still stuck in the Verubin nebula suffering the effect of radiation and dying. So, yeah: no biggie....
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Season 3, Episode 11. This episode begins one ways and end the other. We can’t bear to talk about, but... we will. We will talk about pregnant Kelpiens, planets made of dilithium, and the most jacked-up holodeck episode in Trek history; we will talk about Tilly having the con, Book having some chutzpah, and Stamets having a hard time; finally, we will talk about Michael getting to the bottom of The Burn, Ossyra getting away with Discovery... and Saru and Dr. Culber getting left behind. gah!
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Season 3, Episode 10. Still in the mirror universe!
Thus, *Emperor* Georgiou races against the clock to change the disastrous events that destroyed her empire before. A blood-thirsty Michael is hard to tame; a blood-thirsty Tilly/Killy is up to the challenge. You know what? Everyone is thirsty for blood, I guess. But I’m sure it will all work out just fine in the end....
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The episode we’ve all been waiting for: the return of Mr. Glasses.
Georgiou is not doing super great. DISCO travels to a strange world to try and help her. Everything is illuminated (jk. Very little is) in this first part of a two-parter....
Hold on to your butts!

Season 3, Episode 8: And things are heating up!
 
Finally, we get to see just what Book’s deal is, sort of. We find out what the infamous Emerald Chain is all about, as well. The stories of Book, and Ryn, and Ossyra unfold a bit. Stamets and Adira make a dynamic duo. And Georgiou finally sees a doctor...
 
Oh - and Akie has FINALLY come up with a musical interlude for Book...
 
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Season 3, Episode 7: A demoted Michael is still burning with a the desire to answer the questions of The Burn. Evidence points to a program that was run by Starfleet on a mysterious planet called Ni'Var. Well, it's Vulcan, actually. And the Vulcans live there *with* the Romulans. Unification! ...But they left Starfleet 100 years ago and want nothing to do with it. Can Michael, sister of Spock, convince them otherwise? Will she be able to keep it together when her mother shows up?! [nb: her mother shows up] Will there be sweet, sweet Vulcan logic courtroom drama?!?! These are real uncertainties. Unlike the following two questions: (a) Is Tilly going to make an awesome Number One? (b) Will Book remove his shirt within the first five minutes of the episode? All will be revealed (Mr. Book included) as we run it down!
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