July 19, 2021
Are you ready for a watch along?! Your intrepid hosts, Akie & Stevie, get together to watch the all the TNG movies adding our own... uh... incisive commentary.
First up is 1994's Generations – replete with cameos by Scotty, Chekov, and James T. Kirk himself. There is funky time stuff (of course), as well as obligatory big-budget film exploding things. A fight on a cat-walk on top of a mountain? Sure! And, the kicker, Picard and Kirk teaming up to take down the black-clad, british-accented, megalomaniacal bad guy.
Through it all, we'll keep interrupting to talk. Sync up the movie and watch along with us!
July 12, 2021
Season Finale?!?! ALREADY?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.... ok. So, Boimler let's slip that Mariner is the daughter of Captain Freeman. Everyone starts coming to Mariner to curry favor and so she considered applying for a promotion to the USS Sacramento – the same one Boimler is gunning for. That would be drama enough, but then a group of extremely advanced Pakled's destroys a federation ship and takes a crack at the Cerritos. With the ship disabled, the captain injured, and imminent destruction hanging over their heads – Mariner, Boimler, Rutherford, and Tendi each have a part to play in getting out of a deadly situation.
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July 5, 2021
Mariner and Captain Freeman's constant arguing comes to a head but instead of throwing Mariner in the brig for subordination, Freeman makes her take mandatory therapy. Mariner thinks it's worthless, but decides she can *really* work through some stuff when Boimler reveals a holodeck program with complete personality work ups for the whole crew.
Only... Mariner may not realize quite how much work she needs to do on herself before it's too late...
June 28, 2021
Mariner, Tendi, Rutherford and Boimler are thrown in a jail cell and then brought before a tribunal to testify as to the actions of senior crew on a particular stardate in question. Mariner remembers nothing important, Boimler remember nothing other than his embarrassment, Tendi remembers waaaay too much, and Rutherford's implant was jacked up so he remembers... some strange things.
But why was the ship in the Neutral Zone and what was the package they were sent to pick up and WHO IS "THE CLEANER"?!!
The answer to these questions may surprise you, but not nearly as much as it does our hapless lower decks crew. Can they save their senior staff (and themselves) from a grisly death in the Tank of Contempt (which is replete with eels AND fire)?!?!?
Another surprise, I guess.
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June 21, 2021
Captain Freeman, Ransom, and Shaxs are called away on an urgent, covert, seed-planting mission, so there will be a visiting captain on board the Cerritos. At first, Mariner is upset by this, but then she discovers it is her old friend from the academy, Amina Ramsey. Ramsey selects Mariner to be her first officer and help her not be just a "babysitter" for the crew, but Mariner is having a hard time not screwing up everything she does for some reason...
Also, Brad Boimler gets kicked out of phase by a transporter experiment and is sent to "The Farm" on a Division 14 ship – where all the victims of recent Star Fleet accidents reside. He tries to stave off a mutiny.
Tendi creates a dog that is horrifying. Meanwhile, Stevie can't find her sound effects and Akie's Easter Eggs theme keeps changing...
June 14, 2021
This week the Cerritos is locked in a pitched and literal tug-o-war with a ship of Drookmani over some ancient Starfleet wreckage and Captain Freeman is doing her best to resolve the issue without violence. In response, the Drookmani start throwing debris at the Cerritos with their tractor beams to provoke a fight.
Meanwhile, on the lower decks, Mariner and Boimler have to work together to fight a semi-sentient isolinear coil that their crewmate broke and tried to hide and that is weakening the shields. it's eating every bit of technology in sight. Oh, also, Rutherford and Tendi are stuck on the holodeck when the ships systems malfunction with a fully sentient and wholly murderous hologram named Badgey.
So. A regular day, I guess.
June 7, 2021
Brad Boimler has a girlfriend! Her name is Barbara Brinson. Try saying that fast. Akie does a bunch this episode and it pretty much broke him. Mariner thinks Brinson is too good to be true and is on a mission to prove that she is some sort of man-eating alien. Meanwhile, Rutherford and Tendi are exploring the bowels of the Vancouver doing diagnostics in a competition to win a new T88 tricorder... but the contest is rigged because someone's grandma was the Admiral's neighborhood?
Oh, also, a moon is supposed to be destroyed but the denizens of Mixtus II & III can't seem to agree on whether the moon should be destroyed and time is running out.
But in the end, this is an episode about love.... AWWWW
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May 31, 2021
The Cerritos is hauling an ancient generation ship across space with the USS Merced. The ship has some kind of super biology juice inside of it that turns anything it touches into trees and rocks and water. So, careful, everyone!
Meanwhile, Captain Freeman is sick of Mariner's disrespect and immaturity and wants her off the ship. She hatches a plan to make life unbearable for her daughter in the hopes it will drive Mariner to ask for a transfer (it doesn't). Tendi accidentally ruins a shipmates attempt to ascend to a state of pure energistic being and tries to make it up to him by relentlessly trying to help him re-achieve inner peace.
Oh, and the captain of the Merced is NOT careful; and the generation ship springs a leak; and the bio-juice travels up the tractor beams and threatens to turn both ships in to, well, trees and rocks and water. Boimler cleans the conference room.
May 24, 2021
What do you know about "buffer time?" You know, like, the crew of ship says it takes four hours to fix the dilithium mix, but it really on takes two hours? I mean, we *all* kind of know that, right?!
Captain Freeman didn't and when she cracks down on buffer time everything goes all to hell. Morale drops and things stop working. And then, also, the ship is attacked and boarded. Meanwhile, Mariner and Commander Ransom are in prison on the surface fighting over who gets to fight to the death in order prove the Federation's innocence on Galrack V.
And to think – this all could have been avoided if the Cerritos had just gone to Cardassia Prime...
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May 17, 2021
Ensign Boimler is SUPER excited to be shuttling a Klingon ambassador down to the surface but Mariner crashes the party. She and General K'orin drink too much bloodwine and the ambassador passes out... then he steals the shuttle and goes joy-riding around the Klingon district wreaking havoc.
As they pursue K'orin, Mariner proves herself quite the Starfleet officer, constantly getting poor Brad Boimler out of dangerous trouble – except when she almost gets them kidnapped by a Ferengi?!
Meanwhile, Rutherford is trying out all the different color uniforms on the Cerritos. With spectacular results. #Smourgasborg